I, Network
Voluntary Disconnection, Inner Worlds, and Self-Regulation
In Disconnection and The Age of Anxiety I looked at the forced denial of deep and meaningful connection as a form of punishment. How conflict threatens the bonds that give our lives meaning, and how our hyper-connected world may not be providing the deep and meaningful connections that we need.
Questions
But what about voluntary disconnection? Why do some people choose solitude? What are the benefits? How does this fit into the notion of humanity as an intrinsically networked species?
To overcome the anxieties and depressions of contemporary life, individuals must become independent of the social environment to the degree that they no longer respond exclusively in terms of its rewards and punishments. - From “Flow” by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi
In an attempt to answer some of these questions I have collaborated with Joe Hendley
. In “Discerning disconnection, the substance of silence” Joe has written thoughtfully and thoroughly on the need to disconnect and the benefits of doing so.Discerning Disconnection
From Luke Skywalker’s island hideout to Kazimierz Dąbrowski’s Theory of Positive Disintegration (TPD) via Shinrin Yoku and being the weird kid, Joe explores disconnection from the external world, and reconnection with our internal selves. I recommend reading his full article, but have included a few tasters below.
External world
In order to understand the world, one has to turn away from it on occasion. [The Minotaur] - Albert Camus, The Myth of Sisyphus and Other Essays
“If you don’t know about the rocky island of Skellig Michael, it became more famous in recent years for the ending scene to Star Wars: The Force Awakens, where the young, upcoming protagonist, Rey, goes to find Luke Skywalker (spoilers, sorry) who’s decided he’s had enough of conflicts in the universe…”
Internal noise
“…we can appear to live a solitary life, but have a head full of noise which is precisely why I am here tapping out pieces as a way of helping to make a little order in the chaos of my own internal noise.”
“Much creativity exists in our internal worlds if we can learn to listen to it and connect with it. It has much to offer if we give it some air. From rich inner worlds from which fantastic stories of worlds far far away, imbued with eternally connectable human sagas of overcoming darkness, to deep analysis which may provide potential solutions to our life’s and world’s problems.”
Disintegration
“If we consider Dąbrowski’s theory of disintegration (dis-integrating from a world, as it were), the choice to retreat is an incredibly powerful chance to (re)gain a connection with ourselves, with the people in our lives, and the natural world. Although it takes enormous effort and, at least on the face of it, will cause conflict internally and externally, if you can bear the burden of change it may change your own life. It has potential to change the lives of others too (for the better) in time.”
Choice
“Doing it on your own terms doesn’t necessarily mean living a life of a monk who’s taken a vow of silence. Nor does it mean that you have to move to a cabin in a forest with nary another dwelling in sight.”
“Choosing to disconnect, choosing to slow down and declutter one’s life can have a positive effect on one’s health - physical as much as mental. Reducing (or changing*) stress can impact your wellbeing immensely.”
Peripheral Ideas
I want to thank Joe for writing most of this article! In doing so I have been gifted the opportunity to consider something peripheral but hopefully equally as interesting.
Firstly. If the notion of humanity as an intrinsically networked species has any credence, then why is there a need to disconnect at all?
Secondly. Why does the need for disconnection vary greatly between individuals?
I, Node
What is a node? A network node is a point that receives, transmits, exchanges and stores information. Nodes are connected to each other to form a network. We are nodes in the human network, and we call the connections relationships.
In fact, we are nodes in many networks, at different scales and with different functions. Family, friends, social, intellectual, spiritual, political, economical, and ecological. These networks are connected to each other in different ways. Stacked, overlapping, nested, physical, virtual, aspirational. They are dynamic and exchange information and energy, they can be in harmony or contention. They grow, shrink, transform, emerge, disappear.
Of course we are far more than nodes in networks. We are self-aware sensory organisms, embodied consciousness, spiritual beings embedded in our environments. We gather, interpret, and share information from both the external world and our inner worlds. The narrative of human history is written by our participation. What we do matters.
The health of all these networks is inextricably connected to the health of the nodes that form them. In other words, our collective health is impossible to separate from our individual health. As Joe has shown above, disconnection plays a vital role in our individual health. A healthy human network is dependent on individuals choosing to disconnect, to slow down and declutter.
At present there are 8 billion nodes in the human network, and technology has enabled hyper-connectivity. We are more ‘plugged in’ than ever before. The quality of those connections is vital to the overall health of us all.
To try and imagine it all is exciting and overwhelming. Energising and exhausting. We have to be careful not to be subsumed by the world we are connected to. Drained by relationships. Overpowered by the sheer magnitude of information flowing through our expanding networks and ever more connected lives.
It is no wonder that sometimes we need to ‘unplug’ ourselves. Reduce our connection to the signal and noise of the network.
However, there is a great variation in how frequent, to what extent, and for how long different people need to unplug.
Introvert, Extrovert, Ambivert, Omnivert
Each person seems to be energized more by either the external world (extraversion) or the internal world (introversion). - Jung
Hans Eysenck associated extraversion-introversion with cortical inhibition and excitation. Extraverts seek excitement to raise their naturally low arousal level. Introverts tend to avoid social situations so not to stimulate their naturally high arousal level too far.
Ambiverts are pretty well balanced on the introvert-extrovert spectrum and omniverts experience extremes in introversion and extraversion. Unlike ambiverts, omniverts have trouble balancing outgoingness and shyness.
Some of us use external connection to stimulate and regulate our energy. Others are more sensitive to external stimulus and turn inwards to regulate. But even the most extroverted of us can eventually burn out, lose our identity in the group. We all need to maintain a sense of ourselves as individuals. We all need down time, it just varies accordingly.
Affect Regulation
I don't know if introversion and extroversion are innate characteristics or adaptive strategies. I’m not here to argue for or against these positions. However, my personal experience is that we can actively manage our need for stimulation, and its impact.
Until I was about 46 I would have called myself an introvert. Shy in groups, exhausted by crowds, I loved time by myself. I’m quite empathetic and social connection overwhelmed me. Any prolonged period in crowds or groups felt like someone was slowly turning the volume up. The physical, emotional and psychological signals of many individuals became the noise of the crowd. I needed a lot of time alone to regulate the affect of this sensitivity.
A few years back I decided to see if I could change this. I began being consciously more active in groups, increasing my connections and participation, and learning to regulate the impact better. I can now tune in to the signal of an individual, focus more, and can turn down the noise of ‘everything else’.
I need less time alone, I’m socially more comfortable, romantically more successful, emotionally more balanced. I have new friends, healthier relationships, and a growing business.
Now I am much happier in the chaos of life, and can maintain internal order to a higher degree. I remain empathetically sensitive but can regulate the signal better.
For those that are interested I went from an INFJ to an ENTS on Myers-Brigg and now score high on Extroversion in the Big 5. I also get bored more easily!
To know thyself is the beginning of wisdom - Aristotle
We are self-aware sensory organisms, embodied consciousness, spiritual beings embedded in our environments. Due to our networked nature our individual and collective well-being is inseparable. More than that, the very world around us depends on it.
This is why we need to consciously and voluntarily choose to disconnect at times, to let go for a moment, to gently withdraw, retreat, and revitalise our selves. More over, we can, in my experience, improve our affect regulation and seek better signal in the noise.
It’s not just for us, its for everyone and everything else too.